Camping. It’s the great modern prank played by adventure companies. Walking into Macpac you are greeted by sprawling overhead billboards of young couples camping – coffee in hand, embers cooled from last night’s fire, sunset breaking over the escarpment. Propaganda.
Camping. Reality is that you never have all the camping gear you need to be comfortable. Either you don’t own it, or you own it and forgot to pack it. It’s freezing outside at night, and the only time of day it’s pleasant to be outside, mosquitos swarm.
Camping. Why bother with all the effort of the tent? It’s the same 3 degree temperature outside as it is inside.
I get no sleep this night. I am freezing. There’s a bit of pee on my leg. I hate camping.
Having booked the early morning Dubbo Zoo walk, I am relieved to hear the 5.30am alarm and end this torture. The tent is soaked in dew. Our zoo volunteer leaders are perky and defer to James, leader of our trio. This causes an underlying current of derision in Dec, who tries to out alpha Tony the volunteer. This tension is elevated when the tour runs overtime because the little kids keep asking the keepers if the Elan can kill them. And then we get breakfast from the zoo cafe afterwards, on father’s day, which is as much as a disaster as you’d expect. James’ consulting brain is working overtime in the background to gut the zoo cafe and outsource for efficiency, you can tell.
We stop in Cobar for a self-prepared lunch (avo on bread), which is fortunate, as nothing else is opened.
Thankfully for everyone in the car we make it to White Cliffs, which is a gathering of opal miners that live exclusively in caves or shacks. We opted for the cave option. I have a bit of an exhaustion (exasperated by the last hour of the drive) based melt down about the lack of a private bathroom. I calm down, apologise to the group, and we have an extremely expensive and loosely interpreted crispy Korean chicken dinner before retiring to our dugout for a twelve hour sleep that can only be attained by three people who have been camping, who really have no business going camping.
After a pretty mild night in the Cait-Dec tent, James awoke telling us he was “so warm”. If only we could all have been so lucky. DW. Dek was too excited to take this photo. JRT.Galapogos Tortoises are cute. Also, Katie the volunteer zookeeper thought James was cute as well I think. He was charming all of them. DW. James and Katie couldn’t stop giggling all tour. Tony, head volunteer, was starting to get tetchy. I think he was jealous of their natural chemistry. Katie was about 70. CR. I liked Katie. JRT.Caitlin walking past rows of boarded up shops in Cobar. The heyday of Cobar seemed well in the past and a number of mines in the area, the main industry, are no longer profitable. DW. This photo was taken as I got lost trying to find the IGA, an impressive feat with only three open businesses in the strip. We had to make an emergency IGA stop as an eight year old girl at the servo told me we couldn’t drink the tap water and could only fill up at the bubbler in the park. The bubbler in the park was broken. CR.Cobar’s open pit mine. The fact that it is filled with water means it is the largest and most toxic swimming pool around. DW.The aforementioned Cobar park. Declan looks (and is) grumpy for reasons that include but are not limited to: the cherry tomatoes were mouldy and we threw them away, the only coffee open in town was Subway, I was rude about the concept of a Subway coffee, there was still four hours of driving ahead, and the bubbler was broken. CR. If there is one thing I hate, it is city slickers being rude to country hospitality staff. It really irks me. I wish to dob both James and Caitlin in for this. However, both apologised and I think are on a redemption arc. Stay tuned for further updates. DW. The milk steamer at Subway was unbelievably loud. Dek was unconcerned about the young workers ear safety. JRT.Goats everywhere. A few wet years and there is grass enough to support an explosion. Goats are in the middle of the roadside animal ranking. Not as bad as kangaroos, they tend to walk away from the road inside of jumping into the middle of it. But not as confident as crows who hop out of the way at the last second. DWA whole load of nothing. For hours. And again tomorrow for hours. The drive to White Cliffs is long and I snooze off and on in the backseat. Luckily James is a bit too big to fit comfortably in the back and I stake my claims among the throngs of luggage. CR.The final hour into White Cliffs is very dicey. We’re driving in at sundown and every animal in the nearest 100km decides to cross the roads. We nearly hit: sheep, kangaroos, lizards, goats, emus, wedgetail eagles and, of particular concern based on their size and total lack of fucks given to cars, herds of black cattle. I am surprised (and a little unnerved) about how few cars and trucks we are seeing on this part of the road. CR. The continuous warnings about black cattle are ominous. The particular focus on them being black brings images on these 3 tonne behemoths emerging out of the dark on blind corners charging straight at you. Good thing Leo purchased my defensive driving course last year. DW
Well that sounds like no fun at all. I agree about crows. Why don’t they move??? #backseatrules (even if it is just to woolgoolga). Stay strong Cait don’t let anyone weasel there way back there.
Impressive. Taking Maldon sea salt with you for your sandwiches assembly in Cobar Park. That is planning ahead.
I wouldn’t be caught dead without my Maldon
I feel like photos for camping shops must be like photos used in the wedding planning industry. All the couples look young, beautiful and suspiciously a bit too happy.
If I was running an improv theatre class I would stand in front of the actors and say ‘there’s a bit of pee on my leg’ and go. The story could go in so many funny or dramatic directions.
I’m pitching an idea for James re zoo cafe business plan. Recycle protein from deceased zoo animals and use free interns for staffing. All extra profits can then be allocated to consulting fees and disbursed accordingly.
Love the photo of James in his swag. Looks like he is being held hostage.
Cobar is like Coffs. Lots of empty shops and hard to find good food.
Declan, you look quite glum in the park. What would be an example of your companions rude behaviour to local hospitality staff.
At least in weddings they finish before the sun sets and everyone can sleep in their own bed.
A little bit of pee on leg in most scenarios is humiliating. When camping, it is so slow down on the list of discomfort. We have another camp in three nights and I am slowly laying the seed to Declan that we should book a hotel…
James was very reluctant to come out of the swag, given both the hour of day and low temperature outside.
I like the zoo cafe idea – if no dead animals, there’s just no food. That was in keeping with their current levels of customer service.
The rude behaviour is nearly always related to city folk (I.e. Cait and James, I am a mountain boy now) getting cranky when service is slightly slow or the food is lacklustre. This invariably happens when there is only a single cafe in town with two staff who are obviously just trying to make it work and provide a valuable service to travellers who would otherwise have nothing.
Well that sounds like no fun at all. I agree about crows. Why don’t they move??? #backseatrules (even if it is just to woolgoolga). Stay strong Cait don’t let anyone weasel there way back there.
Impressive. Taking Maldon sea salt with you for your sandwiches assembly in Cobar Park. That is planning ahead.
I wouldn’t be caught dead without my Maldon
I feel like photos for camping shops must be like photos used in the wedding planning industry. All the couples look young, beautiful and suspiciously a bit too happy.
If I was running an improv theatre class I would stand in front of the actors and say ‘there’s a bit of pee on my leg’ and go. The story could go in so many funny or dramatic directions.
I’m pitching an idea for James re zoo cafe business plan. Recycle protein from deceased zoo animals and use free interns for staffing. All extra profits can then be allocated to consulting fees and disbursed accordingly.
Love the photo of James in his swag. Looks like he is being held hostage.
Cobar is like Coffs. Lots of empty shops and hard to find good food.
Declan, you look quite glum in the park. What would be an example of your companions rude behaviour to local hospitality staff.
At least in weddings they finish before the sun sets and everyone can sleep in their own bed.
A little bit of pee on leg in most scenarios is humiliating. When camping, it is so slow down on the list of discomfort. We have another camp in three nights and I am slowly laying the seed to Declan that we should book a hotel…
James was very reluctant to come out of the swag, given both the hour of day and low temperature outside.
I like the zoo cafe idea – if no dead animals, there’s just no food. That was in keeping with their current levels of customer service.
The rude behaviour is nearly always related to city folk (I.e. Cait and James, I am a mountain boy now) getting cranky when service is slightly slow or the food is lacklustre. This invariably happens when there is only a single cafe in town with two staff who are obviously just trying to make it work and provide a valuable service to travellers who would otherwise have nothing.